Joannie at the Wasteland v.21

[Mood | ^______________________^]

I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE!

Aaaah yes. I couldn't help but grin the whole time during the ceremony. I don't care if it was a lot of droning on and such, I just care that I GRADUATED! My tassel is now on the right side of my head and I look hott in my white dress! YAAAAYYY! Go high school graduates!

CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2003!!!!

Ok time to get ready for that awesome all night senior party! w000000t! Fun, food, games, everything galore! YAY!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Well, I'm super tired... its feels like jet lag. AAAHHH! I bought $100 worth of clothes yesterday and I'm feeling pretty poor now. At least I have clothes for interviews and such now.

What else? Oh I decided to bring the situation to a close (the one I had before). There's no use for even having it if nothing will ever work out. So its time to avoid stupid problems and not get involved at all.

Oh, I started on grad party gifts. I'm going to go buy some supplies today. Its gonna be SWEET! I just gotta make sure the design is alright now.

Ok, time to shower. Will write later today.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^o^]

Have you ever looked into the mirror and just thought "I look beautiful today?"

I dunno, its just one of those high self-esteem days. I feel good about myself and things are running pretty smoothly for the most part. I think it has to do with that thing where school is out, summer is here, and high school is over.

Anyway, I love high self esteem days. They're so nice. You feel so nice inside.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Now that school's out... here's what I still need to do:
1. Buy graduation clothing
2. Clean my room
3. Buy graduation gifts
4. Mail out graduation invitations
5. Get a job
6. Prepare for my grad party

I'm SO tired already... just thinking about all of this... ecks! Anyway, if you wanna hang out, I'm free now! Ango! Let's do something together soon!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Girls and Boys by Blur]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^__^]

Went to see Finding Nemo with Ian -- great movie! Yay! The turtles were super cute and amazingly enough, Dory was a lot like me... "Look! Something shiny!" and Dory looks -_-;;; geez.

Anyway... I'M OUT! High school is OVER! I'm so excited. I can't believe that grade school is over. I'm out. I'm a college freshman again! OH WOW... I'm pretty much in shock that I'm out... but oh well, the horror is over! OVER I SAY!

Time for bed, commencement rehearsals tomorrow.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly and Wet]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ;_;]

Its really here. I finished off International Relations and now Accounting is almost over. *sniffle* I also saw the senior video and almost started crying... ohhhh I'm gonna miss high school so much.

Today's To-Do List:
1. school
---test 3rd hour
---senior check out
2. mass/lunch for serge
3. hang out with ein
4. sleep

Tomorrow:
1. sleep
2. commencement rehearsal
3. tie dye (cuz its raining today and we can't tie dye)
4. GO TO THE MOVIES!
5. sleep like no other

Graduation Clothing: $50.00
Cap and Gown: $18.50
Senior Party Ticket: $35.00
Leaving High School: Priceless
For all things that money can buy, there's Mastercard. -_-;; If only I really used Mastercard.

OH~! Semester grades:
Int'l Rel: A
Acct: A+
Stat: I hope an A-
French: C+ <-- oh my...i suck
Shak: A I hope!
Lab Assist: A

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ;_;]

Tomorrow is the last day of high school ever. As much as I'm happy that its all ending, I'm incredibly sad at the same time. The friends that I've made these past four years, the memories that I've had... EVERYTHING. I can't believe its all ending. One more day and its over. Its all over. How incredibly scary is that? What I've known these past four years will be turned upside down with one simple word: graduation. I'm leaving. I'm going to be gone. Oh man... I'm getting teary eyed. I'm seriously going to miss high school, though I know I'll love college. *sniffle* Ok gonna go make some tears...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Torn by Natalie Imbruglia]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

Yeah so sometimes I wonder about people who can't make up their minds! Seriously... I'm just so mad. I'm a very much decision oriented person and if I like something I like it, if I don't I don't. If I want to do something I do it, if I don't want to do it I don't. You know, situations like that.

Well, May was a very painful month. A lot of heartbreak. A lot of confusion. A lot of tears. A lot of changes. A lot of just those "moments."

Anyway, I was listening to the "Graduation Song" by Vitamin C in the car and I just started crying. How weird. I'm going to miss high school so much. I don't want to cry on my last day, but I have a feeling I will. When that last bell rings, I'm going to be bawling. I'm going to miss high school so much. I seriously can't believe its almost over. I had my last monday today (and didn't get chicken tenders cuz I had to talk all the way over to Canton! Blaaah!) Anyway, yeah... tomorrow I will get lunch and wednesday will be my last school lunch ever. WOW... the end of the year is soo freaking close... I'm definately closing a chapter of my life. (lol as well as opening a new one)

~Joannie~
[Weather | nice]
[Listening | Amber by 311]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^o^]

I am SOOO pumped up to go camping now! Seriously! Hanging out with the groupies and having fun!?!?!? How cool is that!?

Anyway, August 1-3, Y-CACA will be going camping up at St. Ignace (Straits State Park). OMG, we're gonna have such a kick ass time, I'm sooo sure of it!

Anyway, I already got the ferry rates between St. Ignace and Mackinac Island, the campsite information, and a packing list going... all I need to know is who's going for sure, and then I can order the websites! YAAAAY! Ok... time to go do some homework! Bye!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Colorblind by Counting Crows]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;]

Oh my... so many things to do...especially for the last week of school. HAHAHAA...
1. Shakespeare final paper
2. Twelfth Night
3. IR worksheet, debate tomorrow
4. study for shakespeare final

Hmm... hummm... laaa... ok so its not a lot of work... but I'm a lazy bum and I don't want to do ittt!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

So sometimes I really just wish my parents would be a bit more supportive. A lot of parents are like "reach for you dreams" or "do what you want to do," well my parents just laugh at me. I tell them what I want to do, they let out a little laugh like I'm going to be unsuccessful.

Well, today I made some "contact information" cards for my friends so they'll know where I'll be next year, and well my dad just laughs at my cards. They just think its funny that I have friends who will want to talk to me when I'm in college.

BLAAAAH.

Things I will spend my graduation party money on:
1. sony clie
2. webcam
3. books for college
4. lamp
5. nice chair to sit in
6. kotatsu table...

oh crap I just filled in my roommate's side of the room. -_-;;

OH! I just remembered a dream that I had... last night I dreamt that i went to a store and they had YM with a picture of Hyde on the cover and that he had made it "big" in America! Wow... that was a good dream. If only Tet-chan would make it "big" in the US...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | 4am by Our Lady Peace]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

A bit angry. I guess I shouldn't be angry, cuz I do it sometimes too, but I mean I hate it when people do things just to get pity. BLAAAH. I hate pity, don't pity me! WAAAGH!

Anyway, I guess this little entry will be for my awesome and strong friend Judith!

I know its hard hanging in there, but knowing you, you'll pull through alright. You've always been one of the strongest people I know, and I'm proud that you're so strong!
If you ever need to talk, or a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you. I guess at a time like this, the only meaningful words I can say are "I'm sorry." I really hope that the future holds much much brighter (and happier) things to look forward to. Again, I'm proud of you, and hang in there! *Huggles Judith*

Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, Judith has topped my "most tramautic things to happen to one person within a short period of time" list. Eeeek... seriously. Though I can't tell you what happened to her, lets just say that I don't think ANYONE can top her. REALLY... don't even try. Eeep. Well, if you can top 8 super bad things happening... yeah...

Lurv you everyone. Stay safe. Talk to me! *huggles everyone*

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly ]
[Listening | Chainsaws in my basement.. -_-;;]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;]

Some lurvely conversations...

Ian: the towel was sexxing itself

Ian: i'm suddenly reminded of
Ian: the penis song

Ian: she's brought me back from the penis hell

Ian: and YOU'RE popular because you have balls in your mouth?

Ian: well for my adventure
Ian: i'd like to climb your mountains

Note to Judith:
Judith I'm thinking of you. I hope everything gets better soon. Hang in there.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^___^]

Today was APAC banquet! I'm sooo happy! I love you APACers!

OH! Ryan from IR found my website! How weird! Yet he stumbled upon my humble abode! Yaaay!

Anyway, I've been working on a new project: Ianderthal Go check it out! its verrry VERY coool! COOOL!

Sorrie I'm a little high off some Dr. Pepper I just had. Tomorrow I'm going to STRATFORD! Yaaay! Going to go see some kick ass shakespeare! I will buy many souvenirs for my awesome friends! I LURV SHOPPING!

Anyway, I'm going to go find something constructive to do since I'm bored. I shall talk to you all later.

OH! Thanks to Mimi for an awesome speech and somehow I'm known as a "moose" now... -_-;;; Mui thinks I'm like a moose too... geez... only playing with the cute and cuddly animals... hahaha... Mimi you gotta post the analogy for me! It was really... interesting, but I'm sure many people would find it humorous!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Do I Have To Cry For You by Nick Carter]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Ok I'm really pissed... blogger isn't working right now (well except for this "Blog This" which is always nice to have as a back up.)

Anyway, I'm thinking about changing to greymatter or moveable type... but they're sooo complicated! AAHHH!

Anyway, things to do:
1. finish twelfth night, due tues
2. shakespeare final paper, due wed
3. find old stat tests, retake tues
4. ir ws (turn in tomorrow morning)
5. finish french video, due fri
6. study for shakespeare final!

Ok... this is all I have left to do for the rest of the year! YAY!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @___@]

Ok I MUST finish reading Twelfth Night by tonight. I can do it I can do it I can do it... really I can.

I also need to:
1. Make grad party invites
2. Make copies of senior pictures
3. Finish writing on senior pictures
4. Read through Umich freshman handbook
5. Take notes on Twelfth Night (blah)
6. Re-memorize all my shakespeare stuff
7. Figure out my grade in Stat
8. Study for IR test
9. FIGURE OUT WHAT I NEED TO DOOOOO

Tues: Nothing (I hope)
Wed: Stat bbq and Council banquet
Thu: APAC banquet
Fri: Stratford
Sat: -_-;;
Sun: YACA
Mon: ??
Tues: ??
Wed: Last day of school! Serge's 40th day Mass
Thu: Commencement rehearsal, tie-dying

WOW! School is almost over! How scary... actually I am really scared. Its so... so... short. I can't believe that we're almost out. 4 long years... I'm actually really sad, but its alright, college will be a nice new experience.

Hmm... its been over a month now, miss you Serge...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;]

Dum dee dum dum...

Yeah, so those comments on the side... luckily its not like I can have my own secrets you know.

Anyway, today was an interesting day. My emotions have been on a roller coaster lately. Too much drama going on.

ACK! I had to delete that entry cuz _____ and _____ DO read this blog. Crap...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Help Me by Nick Carter]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

Now that I feel semi refreshed (tho still lacking in the shower department) I can write a nice blog entry...

So lets just say that lately everyone in the Pentagon has been extremely busy. Don't know what I'm talking about? Don't worry, only two people do.

Well I still feel slightly traumatized, but at least next time those people come, I will have a lock on my door (or some sort of lock system) and I will be OUT OF THE HOUSE. Oh geez. That was a terrible experience. Never again. NEVER AGAIN.

Lets see, things I want to do soon:
1. See Matrix Reloaded
2. See Bruce Almighty
3. See X2: X Men United
4. See 2 Fast 2 Furious
5. See Bend It Like Beckham
6. See Better Luck Tomorrow
7. Go on a road trip to Chicago
8. Go to NYC
9. ... crap I forgot the rest of my list, oh well I'll put more on later.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | >"<]

Well what started out as a good day turned really really sour.

I went to Serge's house today to drop off a book that I bought for his parents. Well yeah I feel pretty heartbroken to see his mom in tears.

Then some people came over for dinner and this one autistic boy kept... touching me and smelling my hair and... OMG. I am so traumatized. I didn't want to push him away cuz I thought he'd yell out or something, and I didn't want to say anything, and I don't know how to handle myself around people are are mentally disabled. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I'm so traumatized tho... cuz of one thing he did and I really really REALLY need to shower or something. I feel really disgusted and gross.

Ok plus I found out some more stuff today about my "other problem" and its not just stab and twist anymore, its stab, twist, swirl around, pour out. My heart is pretty much on the floor right now... in a puddle for anyone to step in.

Finally I read Alex's (CD Alex) blog and read about his mom in a car accident and it reminded me of Serge. I can't believe that they DIDN'T know whether or not the guy in the bulldozer would be charged. SERGE WAS FUCKING KILLED BY A BULLDOZER. No not a NORMAL accident where another car hits another car... THE FUCKING BULLDOZER PULLED OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!

Wow... can you tell I'm just a bit upset? Crap. Too many people read this blog, I need to get a new secret one soon.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Not Alone by Homegrown]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Brick walls.

Stab and twist.

Pain.

Confusion.

Parallel Problems.

I dunno if I'm going to say anything. I dunno what I'm going to do. I dunno what the future holds. I dunno if I can do anything. Well as long as you're happy I'm happy too... even if it does hurt inside... hurts so much inside. I'll just stand back now and let you go... I wanna fly away from here.

What happened to my self esteem!?!?!?! Geez... this sucks.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Someone Like You by Van Morrison]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Confusion. Confusion. I think only Tonda can fill in these blanks, but here's to writing an entry where you have to guess...

Well this problem over _______ has become long and complicated, because I dunno what to think about it. First of all, if they are occupied with someone else (______), then what happens to me? I get stuck in the corner. ACK. I need to find my own _________. Oh yes... this is gonna be a long and hard problem.

Uuh... did that sound a bit more obvious than normal?

Hehe... word travels fast.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Eagle's Wings by Various]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Baaah, slightly bored.

[a]ge: 18
[b]estfriend: Ango-ster
[c]hoice of meat: chicken!
[d]ream date: picnic for 2 under the stars in a nice deserted park.
[e]xciting adventure: anything is pretty much adventurous to me!
[f]avorite food: italian and japanese foods.
[g]reatest accomplishment: being apac co-president
[h]appiest day of your life: so many good days, but I dunno about happiest... it'll probably be graduation when i get there... 11 days!
[i]nterests: computers, cameras, friends...
[j]erk: eeek... i can name off a couple, but i'll stop.
[k]ool aid: mmm.
[l]ove: life, family, friends.
[m]ost valued: life, family, friends.
[n]ick name: jojo, jj, joey, josie, jobo, bo, joannie, joanne, jonah...
[o]utfit you wore to school: uuhh... thu i wore apac shirt and jeans.
[p]izza topping(s): mushroooom!
[q]uestion asked to you the most: "what do you think?" "can i ask you a question?"
[r]adio station: 93.1
[s]port: soccer! w00t!
[t]elevision show: angel, smallville, g-girls, punk'd
[u]r favorite song(s): "Without Luck" by Jordan Chan, "Colorblind" by Counting Crows
[v]irgin or non-virgin: virgin yo
[w]here you live: michigan -_-;;
[x]'ed?: ... what???
[y]ear born: 1985
[z]odiac sign: Gemini

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
1. fear
2. being unsuccessful
3. giving up

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
1. angela
2. ian
3. ... <-- leaving it blank

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
1. being with friends
2. talking
3. knowing... just knowing things

THREE THINGS I HATE:
1. fear
2. weakness
3. being unsuccessful

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. religion
2. life
3. death

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
1. senior pics
2. ian's bracelet
3. sunblock

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
1. trying to figure out what i'm doing tonite
2. thinking of things to say to the "important" people i will be meeting
3. pondering life

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. own and be CEO of "Formosan Acquisitions"
2. make my own mark on the world
3. find my soulmate

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
1. take charge
2. be moody
3. stay on the internet for days at a time...

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
1. bubbly
2. moody
3. extremely hyperactive

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
1. normal?
2. average?
3. asian.

THREE THINGS I CAN'T/DON'T DO:
1. change the past
2. stop thinking
3. worrying

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. ugh
2. um... sure?
3. k!

THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1. how to be a guy magnet! ^.~ mmm.
2. to cook like my mom
3. japanese, chinese, korean, italian, french...

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
1. milk
2. apple juice
3. water

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
1. Ninja Turtles
2. Step by Step
3. Growing Pains

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Nothing's Gonna Stop Us by The Starting Line]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @_@]

Yeah so my cable crashed last night and it was down until around 4am. Crapolas.

So I went to the zoo for senior skip day... Here are some nice images:

Hippoquarium. Oh my... the hippos were so awesome... yet very smelly.

I'm not as tall as a hippo!?!?!? AAAHHH!

Look it's Ian!

This is the weirdest bird I've ever seen... its known as a Rhinocerous Bird...

Me on the turtles outside the Reptile house.

One of the wild dogs... who was looking at the ducks/birds in the next cage over... must've been hungry.

Well I had tons of fun... oh yes. All the amimals were very cute! I lurv amimals!

~Joannie~

Labels: high school

[Mood | Blah]

So sometimes I worry when people are so inconsiderate that they are blinded by themselves and don't take into consideration other people's feelings. You know, I hurt too, and I'd like to tell you to not tell me things, but I'm nice enough to let you just tell me and just take the pain in.

AUGH NO ONE KNOWS WHO/WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT EXCEPT TONDA. Again, no asking me, I won't tell you. I'm sure some of you can guess though.

Anyway, I'm going to go find something productive to do...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

You're Still Here
At the finest level of my being,
you're still with me.
We still look at each other,
at that level beyond sight.
We talk and laugh with each other,
in a place beyond words.
We still touch each other,
on a level beyond touch.
We share time together in a place,
where time stnands still.
We are still together,
on a level called Love.
But I cry alone for you,
in a place called reality.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ??]

Felt down earlier, but now feeling better after Angela took me to the movies and we hung out. Yay! Lizzie Mcguire! I'm SO going to Italy one day. Lets see, new minor, Italian. OH GEEZ. I'm going to be so busy in college. Oh well, if I can master Chinese and Japanese quickly, I can move on to Korean and Italian. French will then be left in the dust and I will forget EVERYTHING! Yaaay... I mean... booo...

Yeah so I've been doing a lot of thinking and I realized that I'm really pissed at people who have petty problems (even though I know I'm a hypocrite, cuz I have my share of petty problems). Seriously though, stop complaining to me about it. I really don't want to hear it. Like think about what ur telling me. Ok I can't really say anymore cuz the people I have in mind read this blog... don't ask me who they are either, I won't tell you.

Anyway yeah, just take life how it is. Don't do things out of pity. Don't do things out of shame. Do things because you want to do it. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Don't just sit there and complain about it everyday! ARRGHH... there are other people who could/would be more than willing to take your place (most of the time)...

Yeah, so I'm going to go and sleep now. I'm really worn out from being such a thinker... my head hurts a lot lately.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Calendar for this weekend:
Thursday: School, APAC, nothing.
Friday: Zoo, visit Ian
Saturday: Mall, must shop
Sunday: Day, dunno, then night, party
Monday: Meet Don at Library, dunno.

Gotta read "Twelfth Night" this weekend.
Want to go to the bookstore...
Need to buy more soap.
Must buy more clothes...

I need to keep myself occupied. What am I doing to do?

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Fighter by Christina A]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^__^]

Thanks to my awesome friends Ian and Alex for stopping by my house and wishing me a happy birthday!

Yeah, so things weren't going so well today, but my day has been brightened. I guess... I was just feeling kind of empty, but you know what I can definately do without the outlandish celebration and just a little time with friends always helps.

Anyway, now I'm cleaning my room because I'm freaked out about unexpected visitors. -_-;; Yeah... room... clean... oh geez. I'M SORRY MY ROOM WAS SO MESSY ALEX AND IAN! AAAHHHH!

I need to redo my bulletin boards and walls too... they're getting kinda ugly. -_-;;; I'M SORRY EVERYTHING IN MY ROOM SUCKS SO BADLY! WAAAAH...

Ok I'm gonna go redo my room completely now! BYE!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ugh]

I won't lie to you. Today has been a pretty shitty day. First of all I feel really empty inside, for a lot of reasons, and secondly I'm doing absolutely nothing. NOTHING. I seriously am angry with everything thats going on.

Ok I remember watching TV shows about best friends and how they were so close to each other and things like that, but then I look at my life, I realize, I've had no best friends. I mean I've had close friends, but not best friends. I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now and re-evaluating my life. I seriously can't wait until college. Just to get away from it all. Keep myself busy. Be a different person.

Sometimes I see my life as a big play. I rememeber acting on stage and thinking about how fake it all seemed, but now its like I've brought the stage to my life and all I can do is act. I don't even know who my real self is anymore. I'm so lost. I'm so confused. I don't know...

Anyway, just ignore this depressing stuff.

~Joanna~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | I'm Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;]

Today has not been the best day. Actually I was pretty numb today. I'm not sure why. Anyway, its my birthday and I'm 18. Now I can buy lottery tickets! Yay!

Anyway, I'm looking over my Umich coursebook. Yaaay, so many classes to take!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Heaven by New Found Glory]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^__^]

Yeah... so I was up until 12 playing online pictionary with Ian and random peoples... Geez, Angela got me hooked to the game -_-;;;; So tired...

Oh! I got the yearbook! Look for me in the Senior Pep Rally (I'm up top in a shirt that says "R" on it), APAC, French Club, and Science Olympiad pictures and also check out my name under the NHS, Student Ambassadors, and Student Council pictures! w00t! SIGN MY YEARBOOK EVERYONE!

Ok -_-;;;; Must go get ready for school.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Schedule for next couple of weeks.
T, 5/20: Mary's Birthday, school...
W, 5/21: My birthday, school...
T, 5/22: School, Last APAC meeting..., sending little YaYa off to Prom!
F, 5/23: SENIOR SKIP DAY! Going to the zoo!
S, 5/24: CAPA Show
S, 5/25: Dunno
M, 5/26: Dunno
T, 5/27: School...
W, 5/28: School, Council Banquet, Stat BBQ
T, 5/29: APAC Banquet
F, 5/30: Stratford Trip
S, 5/31: Dunno
S, 6/1: YACA Meeting
M, 6/2: School...
T, 6/3: School...
W, 6/4: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!
T, 6/5: Commencement rehearsal, Tie dying in Greanya's room
F, 6/6: Dunno...
S, 6/7: Mui's Birthday, Dunno...
S, 6/8: GRADUATION!, SENIOR PARTY!

I look forward to being invited to TONS of graduation parties! *hint hint*

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

I am as confused as ever. I can't figure out myself and what I'm thinking. I wish I could write more about it here, but um... yeah I know people who'd talk about it, so yeah... lets keep it a mystery.

Anyway, I'm still trying to fill that empty space. I dunno how I'm going to do it, but I keep trying and I really think its causing problems in my social life. Eck...

Hm... no one probably knows what I'm talking about. Yeah time to write in my personal diary about my life has become in the past few weeks. @_@.

*Garg* I still have hw to do... blah.

Congratulations you are God! I mean...you are Doc! You are an intellectual who likes to fix things!
Which CU teacher are you?brought to you by Quizilla

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Bring Me Too Life by Evanescence]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

My face is sunburned. I really hate that the whole time I was there I was thinking "I think I should put some sunblock on my face...oh well, its too oily, I'll be ok." Well then, good job ME for being dumb.

Anyway, my whole body is sore and has bruises all over it. @__@ I've become like an old lady who easily bruises and body hurts when I try to get up or down. -_-;;;

YAY! My birthday is in 3 days! I'm going to be 18! YAAAAAYYYYY!

18 ^_^ 18 ^_^ 18 ^_^ = CLUBBING! FINALLY!

What else can I do when I turn 18?
Vote
Buy cigarettes
Go clubbing
-_-;;; go to strip clubs
-_-;;; watch porn
VOLUNTEER AT THE HUMANE SOCIETY!

Yay! I'm very excited about turning 18! YAAAAYYYY! I'm going to be an ADULT! Woooo!

Ack... time to go do some left-over school work though...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | =D]

Yay! I just baked cookies and now I'm baking brownies! It's Relay for Life time! Yaaaay!

Oh... weird thing... I'm on the front page of the U of D newspaper "The Cub News." Of course its not a picture of JUST me, its the one of me and Serge *sniffle* the only one I have of us both. At least I got to take that picture... Eeek! Well there might be more later as more film is devoloped, I remember taking a couple of group pictures and such...

Anyway, I'm getting tons of graduation money from my grandma! YAY! You think that 2 $500 scholarships is a lot, just wait until you meet my grandma. For just visiting I get like $1000 each time, but for graduation... I wonder. WOW... my grandma is so awesome! I should scan in the picture of me and my grandma climing a tree! That was such a cool and awesome moment! Awww I can't wait to see my grams again.

Oh... weird thing, after school there was a HUGE accident on Canton Center and Warren Road. Some lady ran a red light and ran into a semi-truck which then veered into the other lane, smashing 2-3 other cars; then ended up in someone's back yard! ACK! No one was critically injured. *Whew* After last night's scenario with the semi truck and now this, I'm feeling very insecure around large trucks. It was so weird, yesterday I was just driving along and suddenly the semi just drives right off the highway and into the island between highway lanes... It was quite freaky, the semi didn't crash though, but it was really weird...

Anyway, I'm going to go work on my brownies now, they're in the oven. MMM... Oh I gotta make superhero symbols too... Oh man, relay is so stressing.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Your Body Is A Wonderland by John Mayer]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Yay!]

It's FRIDAY everyone! ...AND what does that mean?? RELAY FOR LIFE IS TOMORROW!

If you want to participate, here's the info:

Relay for Life
American Cancer Society
May 17-18, 2003
10am-10am
Heritage Park, Canton, Michigan

It's a 24 hour walk for cancer research (etc) at Heritage Park. People participating are on teams, and each team has to have a person on the track at all times during the 24 hours. (No, you do not walk 24 hours).

If you'd like to join Team APAC, please contact me. Minimum fundraising fee is $20 per member. (Yay! I've raised $44.84! Then again... I suck at fundraising...)

Ok, so hopefully I'll see you there! APAC is in plot 13, find us!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Ugh]

You don't do things because you have to, you do it for the sake of doing it.

Seriously, don't complain, just do your share of the work and everything will be ok.

Ok I seriously am feeling shitty all of a sudden... UGH. Ok I'm going to go to the post office, the bank, then come home to eat dinner and hole myself up in my room to read a nice book.

I think I'm just going to be numb for now... so numb... so cold... so empty...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Ok, so my whole body feels like it weighs like 20 times heavier than normal... Like when I'm sitting here typing this, my arms and hands and fingers are leaving me tired. Well, its strange because the times when I actually DON'T have to work to do late into the night, I stay up late. *SNAP!* What am I doing? Ok, tonight, I am going to sleep at 9pm. This way I can ensure that I will BE OK. I need to have enough energy for relay for life. Augh. Today I'll also go buy some energy drinks -_-;;;;;;; Oh geez... I can SOO remember last time I had one of those... blinking light... laughing... Janet... craziness... omg that was really strange...

Anyway, today I gots an APAC meeting which I thought OLD officers were supposed to run, but I guess not... I want to run it! AUGH... last meeting before the new officers actually take over. -_-;;;; Banquet... gotta prepare a speech... a couple of speeches actually.

Going to school now... blaaaah.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Fighter by Christina A.]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;;]

So tired. Must get sleep. Will not get sleep. Must get sleep. Will not get sleep.

Tomorrow schedule:
Wake up
School
APAC
APAC decorations mtg
Home
Dinner
Sleep

Friday's schedule:
Wake up
School
Home
Dinner
Sleep

Saturday's schedule:
Wake up
Relay for Life

Sunday's schedule
Relay for Life
Home
Sleep

Yes. I'm going to go crazy. MUST GET SLEEP. WILL GET SLEEP...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^__^]

Senior Skip Day 2003
May 23, 2003

Toledo Zoo!
Open: 10am - 5pm
Tickets: $8.50 / adult
Parking: $3.00

Lets go to the zoo and have a picnic! YAY!

So far, a couple of people have shown interest:
Allison H.
Allison S.
Andrei
Ryan

Comment if you want to gooooo! Or you'll probably get a call from me! Bye!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

SENIOR HONORS CONVOCATION NIGHT!

Wish me luck in winning the following:
Social Studies Key
International Council Scholarship

YAY.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Eeep]

I was reading this book and I found something that is almost exactly how I feel I guess? Hehehe, I'm putting it here for you to read:

To My Dearest Friend
Jessica, Age 17, Minnesota writes:

I miss you so much. I feel so alone without you. I loved you so much. You never knew how much I loved you. You were my best friend, but I always wished you were my boyfriend. I was afraid to tell you how I felt about you because I was afraid our friendship would be ruined. I now wish I would have told you about this because then I wouldn't be wondering how you would have responded after I told you. Maybe you felt the same but you were also afraid of what would happen to our friendship. I guess now I'll never know. Since I've lost you I've realized a few things: I loved you more than I ever thought I could love someone, and I also realize that I have to tell people how I am feeling in the future. I might never get the chance again. I have loved you and will always love you. You will be in my heart forever.

Ok, on a brighter note:

RELAY FOR LIFE IS COMING UP! Everyone remember to come and participate! w00t!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Eeep]

*Reminder* to Yaaa:
To go on Stratford trip, you owe $41 tomorrow to Mr. Francis! Bring it tomorrow!

Anyway, right now in biology they're talking about the human body and operations and now I'm very glad that I'm not going to be a doctor. Eeeep. I think I'd faint just HEARING some of these stories. I mean, normally I'm not grossed out. I can withstand a lot of blood and a lot of things... but when it comes to things as brittle as bones... I really can't take it. They're talking about bone replacement... and I feel pretty gross. Eeeep. When I think of paralysis... OMG OMG OMG... Mr. Greanya is looking through the hole in the pelvis of the skeleton... and showing it off to the student. Wow that was a weird moment...

Sorry, anyway, perhaps I will become a medical researcher.

AAAAHHH Now Mr. Greanya is talking about ice skaters and big butts and how ice skaters will always have big butts... -_-;;;; this is soooo strange... and he just said that football players have big buns.

-_-;;; ... oh geez.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Windy]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Blarg]

I just looked at my invoice for my cell phone. Here's the information:

Last time I talked to Serge 3:18pm, for 2 minutes on April 23rd. So if the accident was around 3:30, then I had JUST talked to him. Wow... this is so weird.

"Call me back later if you're bored!"

~Joannie~
[Weather | WINDY AND WET]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | =_=]

Just woke up. No hot water in house. Cannot shower according to dad. I feel so gross.

Senior Skip Day 2003 Plans

Friday, May 23, 2003
Cedar Point --> Sandusky, Ohio
Park Tickets: $32.50 (discounted at my bank)
If we have a group of 15+ students (ages k-12) we can get tix for $26 each)
Park is open 10am-10pm.
We're looking at leaving around 7-8am.
Arriving home around 12-1am.
Parking is $8.

If you wanna go, drop me a line!

Those who say they'd *like* to come...
Bethany
YaYa <--tho she's a junior, hahaha.
Ian <-- tho he says he has no money...
Sarah

*Garg* I don't care if you've gone on the physics trip already...

People who I'm gonna ask today if they haven't seen this yet:
Tonda
Allison S.
Allison H.
Mary M.
Tongyan
Mimi <-- tho she's a junior
Alex 2
Linda
Andrei
Kai
Angela O.
More...

IAN WE'LL BUY YOU A TICKET JUST SO YOU CAN COME! OMG OMG OMG OMG! YOU BETTER COME! YAYA SKIP FRIDAY SKIP FRIDAY!

Ok, well that's all folks. I'll update you soon with more information! Ta ta!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

One Day
there is a hole in my heart.
that will never heal.
because we had to part.
leaving all these emotions that i feel.

everyday i wonder.
how would life be now.
would it be better?
i wish it were somehow.

one day we'll meet again.
perhaps not in the same form.
but until then.
i'll try to return to the norm.

Dreaming.
everything is so different
like i'm floating here
everything is so surreal
as i look into a mirror.

how did this happen?
how did this come to be?
i'm just so lost,
without you here with me.

everyday i wake up,
hoping it was a dream,
but i know in my heart,
this is how its going to be.

time slowly passes by,
but my heart stays the same,
there's a scar there,
causing me pain.

i'll pray to anyone or give up anything,
just to spend more time with you,
or just to hear your voice,
but there's nothing i can do.

one day though,
i'll see you again,
but at this moment,
i'll just have to wait until then.

miss you love.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

So much going on in brain. Oh look, a tree. Oh my. Ok anyway, I'm much better now and I'm not upset about this prom. I'm actually A LOT more upset about junior prom. That is where my anger was coming from. GARG. Ok... anyway... I'm going to go read some Twelfth Night so I can get that over with.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | to nature]

Labels: high school

[Mood | GARGH]

Ok, you know what? I AM upset about prom. You want to know why? Taking Serge out of the equation and pretending that I was never going with him in the first place. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO PROM. I've been buying prom magazines since SIXTH GRADE. NOW... that I didn't go... and its over, I AM upset. I mean I have the right to be upset right? Of course I don't feel its right to go to my prom.... but that leaves me with NO FREAKING OPTIONS. FINE THIS SUCKS. I'm gonna find a boy at cranbrook and try to get in! WAAAAHHHH... who else hasn't had prom...? Ok this sucks butt.

I'm gonna go and be fuming mad now.

~Joannie~
[Weather | WET]
[Listening | Angel Standing By by Jewel]

Labels: high school

[Mood | OoO]

OMG! I just realized Relay for Life is in 7 days! We have sooooo much freaking stuff to do! I gotta go talk to local restaurants and see if they'll donate some food to us (for dinner and such). OMG OMG OMG OMG. Now I can freak out. Lets see where can I go? Well I'm going to Thai Bistro today to get some food for Angela for lunch. She's at the 88.1 radio action. I REALLY WANNA WITH THE DAY AT THE CAPITAL WITH SENATOR PATTERSON! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Ok time to wake up! Ok time to go to the bank and get the food! YES LETS GO! CRAPOLAS! I DON'T HAVE CASH!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Mellow]

Well Prom day is over. I survived it. Thanks to everyone who came over to my house.

So today wasn't as unbearable as I thought. In first hour I started tearing up during an Tianamen Square video, but I got control of it... then later in the car while driving to Dominos I started tearing up again. I really didn't want to get out of the car to go into Dominos. Life is really strange sometimes. I'll feel normal one minute and then next I've totally lost control of my emotions.

Well I guess I'm done being really deep for the day. I hope everyone had a fun time at prom. I promise to not curse anymore people.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | =_=;;]

It's the day.
The reason why we met.
It was the only way.
You were the only prom date I could get.

But you're not here with me.
To go with me on this night.
And I miss you awfully.
Because you were my shining knight.

You left so suddenly.
Time flew by so fast.
And now life is so dreary.
And I'm thinking of the past.

I keep thinking of you.
Everyday I remember.
But now I must say my adieu.
To you in your lonely slumber.

Miss you love.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | La la la]

YAY! Today is senior prom day which means: I GET TO HANG OUT WITH THE COOL AND AWESOME IAN LOAD FASTER G! w00t! How exciting this is!?

Anyway, I'm currently in Mr. Greanya's class with nothing to do again. Lets see what I've done today.

IR: Video on China --> where there was a prostitute with the name of "little girl" HAHAHAH
Acct: Final project and took test
Stat: Worked on sketchbook
Fr: Played Monopoly
Shak: Watched the end of Othello
Lab Assist: COMPUTER TIME!

This is my schedule for the rest of the year. I pretty much will be doing NOTHING. Oh I need to think of a good product to advertise in French! (Hahah I should do something corny). I also need to read Twelfth Night, study for the China-Taiwan debate... and whoaaa thats it. I AM SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY! I'll be online 24/7 now (then again I always was, so this isn't a major change). Oh man I love all you guys so... TALK TO ME AND BE DISTRACTED!

Anyway... I think I might do the Undergraduate Research Program at UMich. Its really coooool! I don't know what I would want to research yet, but I'm thinking economic patterns, something medical science, or ... something psychology. AAAHHH! So many things I want to do next year! I want to hep in the APA High School Conference, and be a YK mentor. SO MANY THINGS SO MANY THINGS.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^___^]

New layout everyone! I hope you like it! It took me FOREVER to find a picture I liked and to decide on a theme and to decide on... well a lot of things. This layout is very special to me, so hopefully I'll get positive feedback -- right?

Also, I noticed that YACCS isn't working anymore so I'm franctically trying to find another good reliable commenting system. CRAPOLAS.

Anyway, since I have tons of spare time now... I'll be working on more web pages and other such weird things that I have a hobby in doing. Actually... I should be reading Twelfth Night... lemme go start that...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | I'm Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Eeeep]

Today was a day of NOTHING! YAAAAAY!

Things to do from now until the end of the year:

International Relations: Taiwan-China relations debate
Accounting I: Final Project (can only be done in class)
Statistics: NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING
French: French commercial and slang chapter
Shakespeare: reread Othello and the Tempest and read Twelfth Night

OMG. This is terrific! The only homework I'm really ever going to have is reading Twelfth Night! YAAAAYYYYY! YAAAAYYYY! Oh boy oh boy! I love senior year! Senior year is GREAT!

Ok lemme go frolick (not folick to Tondie's dismay) in the forest! I'll be a wood sprite! -_-;;;;;;;

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^__^]

Today has been the best day in a long time. Well, now that I'm done with all my AP tests I can happily sit and ponder life. Yes I'M DONE WITH AP TESTS. How grateful I am that I quit calc. OMG OMG OMG If I were still in calc I'd be lying somewhere in a ditch. LITERALLY. Yet, I've survived and now I can work happily on Shakespeare stuff. YAY.

Things to do:
1. memorize Queen Mab speech
2. write about the conceit of sonnet 14
3. read twelfth night.

YAY! ALMOST DONE WITH SCHOOOOL!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | I'll Be Missing You by P. Diddy and Faith Evans]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Heh]

Well I woke up this morning from an extremely strange dream -_-;;;. First of all I was in Europe or something with 2 other people and a ship was leaving... and the people on the ship had locked us out because they didn't like us. So we sat at the bottom of the ship where it was cold. I had this pen thing that was a gun and a lock pick too and they wanted me to use it to storm the ship -_-;;;. Anyway then I was in Taiwan trying to get into my grandma's house to get some clothes and blankets cuz it was so cold, but I lost my backpack and I was wandering around doing nothing cuz I had lost everything. THEN my cousin was driving me home from the airport and I asked her "when is Serge coming back" cuz in my dream Serge had gone to Taiwan and was supposed to be back in 8 days. Then she was like "I dunno" and then I was like "oh wait, Serge died..." and for some reason Serge was related to my family and he had lived with us for a little while? Then I woke up.

What a weird dream...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Ugh]

Part of a new sonnet I'm writing:

As I sit and think of you I wonder,
Where did you go to after you left me,
Everday I think of you and ponder,
If you were still here, how would it then be?
I remember your smiles and the laughter,
As we sat around and talked about the future,
And all the great times we had together.
Now that I've lost you, my heart has no cure,
Please show me a sign that you are okay.

Ok this sonnet is terrible... go figure I was super tired. I'll edit it better later. Right now I just wanted to type it up before I lose it... I kinda wrote it on a piece of kleenex.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Breezy]
[Listening | A Drop of Colour by Hyde]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Depressed]

Well there's no use suppressing it now. As I keep hearing more and more from everyone, I just feel worse and worse.

Lets go back in time a little.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003
The last time I talked to Serge I was driving behind Ian's car, when Mimi and Ian both turned at a red light and I was stuck. I was yelling into the phone at Serge... but then I told him the plan about asking YaYa. He said that he had just gotten out from work. Well, as I drove towards the school, he told me "call me later if you're bored." Well, after the incident at the track with Ian and YaYa, I called Serge back because I was so pissed. Well he didn't pick up so I went home and called his house. No one picked up. So then I took the cordless phone and cell phone and went downstairs and watched TV for an hour waiting for his call. So then later I logged online and stayed on until 2am hoping that he'd come online... he never did.

Thursday, April 24, 2003
I woke up around 9 because I was horribly depressed that Serge had never called back. Well I proceeded to cleaning my bathroom... again to keep myself occupied. Then I went to Meijer to keep myself occupied and I called YaYa to go over to her house. I was pretty much a wreck at YaYa's house cuz I had no idea why Serge didn't call. Well I left her house around 2 and logged online. I then called Ian and asked if he knew where Serge was, but he mentioned something about a weird away message that Stephanie C had seen about praying for Serge. Well... then I asked Linda if she knew, and she didn't. Then I asked Stephanie about it and she said that Serge had been in an accident. Well from then was hysterical crying. I called back Ian and told him and he called St. Joe's. Then I called Mimi and told her... all while I was crying hysterically. Well we all decided to go to the hospital, Ian driving me and Mimi. At the hospital I thought that everything was going to be ok. They stated that his brain would fluctuate with the swelling and such for the next few days. Well... we went home thinking that he'd get better soon.

Friday, April 25, 2003
I woke up around 6 am from a dream of Serge talking to me. He was wearing a bright blue button up shirt and a white shirt underneath and there was a bright white background. Well I can't remember the conversation he had, but I do remember him saying "Everything will be ok." Well I basically woke up crying and shaking. I called St. Joe's and asked about his condition. They stated that it was about the same as yesterday. Then Ian came and online and we decided to go. Well around 1 pm we went to the hospital. When we went into the room... we found out that he had been pronounced brain dead at 12:30pm. I cried so hard and so long. They (the hospital) wanted to take him off life support. TAKE HIM OFF. So helpless and defenseless. Basically I didn't know what to do but hug and cry into Ian for dear life. I probably cried for like a good 15 minutes. Then all I could do was hold his hand. Hold Serge's hand. Pray for Serge. Later more friends came. Ian, Linda, Mimi, Alex, and I were in the room until around 11. I got to hold his hand... one last time. ONE LAST TIME. Oh god... just thinking about all of this is making me cry. Afterwards, Ian, Mimi, and I went to Mimi's house where we spent the night. I kept looking at my watch until 2 am.

Saturday, April 26, 2003
2 am when they took him off life support. I didn't even know how to respond to anything. My life was in pieces in a second. All I could do was hold on for dear life. Pray. Wonder. Think.

Well thats my reminiscing of the past 2 weeks. My life has been strange and like a dream. Its pretty much the most surreal thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. I never want to experience any of that ever again.

Lately my life has been a lot of ups and downs. Like I'm a manic depressent. Its really scary how sometimes I can be so happy and the next I'm so depressed. Life is so strange. I wish it wasn't so hard. I just wish life were different. I love all of you, don't you ever forget it. Stay safe and I'll talk to you all soon.

~Joanna~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Eagle's Wings Hymn]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Worse than Before]

Ok so everytime I get to my second hour, I tend to feel crummier than before. This is because the girls around me take everything for granted and I'm like "DON'T TAKE PEOPLE FOR GRANTED! THEY MIGHT NOT BE THERE TOMORROW!" Well thats how it was like with Serge. I guess I just took it for granted that he'd always be there, but then the next day he's gone. I thought I'd have my phone buddy. I thought he'd go to Starbucks with me. I thought he'd be in YACA. I thought we'd go to Hawaii together. Well... life works in really strange ways.

At least now when I look at his picture I can smile, because I know that he's in a better place. I have a lot of theories, but I guess I'll keep them to myself, or tell them to YaYa, because she seems to have similar thoughts. Eeeep. Philosophy. I'm going to take so many philosophy classes at Umich. I'm so excited. Oh... Serge won't be able to have tea with me. I guess on one of the tea days, I'll just reserve a cup for him and leave it there, in his loving memory. Oh, I miss you so much Serge...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

Sorry about being so morbid and depressed lately, but I can't exactly help how I feel.

Anyway, last night was the last prayer service for Serge. Ian, Kris, Allen, YaYa, Alex, and I hung out in his room afterwards. It was nice just sitting in his room. His bottle of Hugo Boss brings back so many memories of how I loved how he smelled. Then just looking at his clothes and all his things. It was a strange feeling. They found all his things, his cell phone, palm pilot, wallet... There are so many things. So many memories. It was nice to talk like he was still among us. I mean I like the feeling that he's still among us, but I'd rather him be in heaven already, looking down upon us.

I've been to so many religious ceremonies. Being in a prayer service is so strange. I can't believe I remember a lot of the hymns. I don't ever want to go to another funeral or prayer service ever again. EVER AGAIN. EEEP! Everyone has to live forever!

Ok, well I'm going to go now to school. Love everyone lots, stay safe.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Radio]

Labels: high school

[Mood | So So]

My life has definately come to a clearer perspective.

Respect.
I think it goes without saying that you should respect other people no matter what, even if they don't deserve your respect. It takes a lot of dignity to still be polite and nice to someone even if they're the worst person on the face of the earth.

Complaining.
Well it was in my habit to complain a lot, but the only thing I feel like complaining about right now, is how much I miss Serge. So I've given up on petty complaints. I may say "I'm cold" or something like that, but thats just a statement, I'm not complaining.

Friends.
I know that sometimes I may get annoyed at my friends and such things as that, but you know what, I'll love my friends no matter what and never get angry at such petty reasons. I'll just think of Serge and how much I love the people around me and then calm down and realize, there's no reason to be angry, there's only love here.

Anger.
I know that sometimes I have a lot of anger, but I can never stay angry very long. So I need to pick myself up and stay strong. So if I get angry, just leave it alone, and I'll get over it and apologize.

Well there's a lot to ponder in life. I keep thinking about death. I mean its so... abrupt... and so final. Life is just over, like that. Hm, I really don't know what to say. Like I want to know what death is like, but not experience it... Like what is it like?

Well I guess I'll go into some morbid stuff right now... LEMME WARN YOU, IT MAY GET REALLY MORBID... SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ, STOP.

Really, stop if you don't want to hear it...

Well I keep pondering about the formaldehyde. Today in the biology class I'm assistant too, Mr. Greanya was talking about it... and he was saying how in 10 years if you dig up a body, it'll still be just as you buried it. So now that I think back to seeing Serge's body. I think, wow in 10 years he'll still look like he's 17. Thats completely crazy. I remember watching this one episode of Buffy where she came back to life, but she had already been decaying. I kept imagining Serge like that, but now that I've heard that stuff from Greanya, I feel a bit more relieved? Well when I went up to his body at the wake, I could smell the fermaldehyde. Its weird, because I'm a lot stronger than I feel? I didn't cry when I went up to the casket. I only cry when I think of lost moments that we could've had. Or just randomly cry at completely messed up times...

Next I keep thinking about brain swelling. I mean, with all of medical science, there was no way to stop the swelling? This makes me want to study the brain, perhaps become a neurosurgeon. Well that might be to sad. I kind of want to go into medical science now though. Its strange to think that they couldn't do anything to his skull or something to create better circulation to his brain. I kept thinking, can't they make incisions? Why can't they get blood flow there? Why can't they do anything? I guess I'd just have to go into medical science to figure that out. Blah. Perhaps I'll go buy some books on the brain and read about it. I find this stuff very interesting now.

Anyway, I keep thinking about Serge's physical body. Even though he's in two ummm containers, its like, he's int he ground. Its cold. Its raining out there. What can we do? Then I keep wondering if his soul/mind is floating around right now. I really want to read some more philosophy stuff. I'm going to take more philosophy courses in college, that'd be very nice. Psychology sounds interesting too. Maybe I'll just try to major in everything. I'll be a "Business-Law-Medical Science-Psychology" major. Minoring in Asian languages and philosophy. HOLY CRAP. So much stuff to do.

Oh did I mention I took communion at a catholic church? Oops, I didn't really think much of it then, but its really bugging me now. I mean, I grew up in a Presbytarian church and a Baptist church, and I've taken communion before, but... at a Catholic church? That just seems so wrong. Well from now on I'll have to make note to myself that I'm never taking communion again.

Erg. I keep thinking about Serge's physical body. Just lying there. In the casket. So cold. So lifeless. What a strange feeling. Well in the hospital I was holding a dead man's hand. Even though his hand was so warm, because his heart and other body parts were working. It was just his brain... the life center that wasn't working. Wow... there are so many vital organs... I was holding his hand. Holding his hand for dear life. Just holding it. I'm just glad that I got to hold his hand and hug him when he was still alive.

Wow, I really miss him. I hope I can find someone else like him someday. I could talk to him about anything and we could joke around and just do random things. We got along so well. We had so many similarities. I miss you Serge, and no one can ever replace you.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Pondering]

This is the second year in a row that I'm not able to go to prom because something has happened to my prom date. Two years of dresses and heartache. Two years of just sitting around.

I know I don't want to go to my senior prom, but I can't help but wanting to go to some senior prom. I mean having fun for both me and Serge would be terrific. I don't know, its like a prom recession because... well because I never got to go... ever. I had junior year, and now senior year.

For those of you who don't know, my prom date last year broke his leg on the day of, so he couldn't go. Well and Serge um.. well he died... so I definately can't go. Geez, I'm one cursed person. This stuff always happens to me. Well not really, but 2 prom incidents? Thats a little harsh isn't it? Well, I don't know, I feel a lot of pain that Serge is gone, but I also feel very calm and collected as I can quietly ponder the meaning of life more clearly than before.

I guess if I didn't have an experience like this, I'd probably still have petty problems in the world, so it was a good experience for me, even though it was a bad experience too?

Take care of yourselves, I love you all.

~Joanna~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | With or Without You by U2]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Sullen]

Well its over. He's at the Holy Sepulchre cemetary in Southfield.

I'm glad I got to talk to his mother and tell her about the dream I had about him. It was a very nice and comforting dream. I'm also glad that she sort of knows who I am, that was very sweet and nice. I'm going to miss talking to Serge and miss hanging out with him, but at least I have those memories and I will cherish them forever. I love you now and forever Serge. Stay strong.

Serge Dioso
1985-2003

~Joanna~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school, SBD

[Mood | Worse than before]

This made me feel better. I found it in Dave's profile:

There's many times in life when things won't go as expected. Where the most carefully of planned plans will shatter to a thousand faults. And it is during these times, where we so often find ourselves lying on the borders of insantiy, that oft times one can be found fretting that life is at it's end. It is often said that to get over your fears, your longings, your deepest wounds to the heart... That all one can truly do is face them. You must walk onto that lonely road head on, and you will either drown, or learn to swim in that flowing river of emotions. For life isn't always what we expect. Yet it is in our darkest hour, where our faith is born. It is in that pitch black, where all life seems to be coming to an end, that our humanity reaches the pinnacle of strength. For it's that inkling in the corner of one's mind... The briefest of moments where one comes to realize that life will go on.

Thanks Dave.

~Joanna~
[Weather | Stormy, like my emotions]
[Listening | Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous by Good Charlotte]

Labels: high school, SBD

[Mood | Terrible]

These past few days have been horrible. I was reading this thing that I wrote in December about what my worst days were. So I'm going to list what I thought on December 16th.

Worst Days, listed on December 16, 2002
1. 9-11 week, first 9-11, then friend was in trouble.
2. PSAT score day
3. Crying about grandfather in class... after he died.

Worst Days, listed on April 30, 2003
1. April 25, 2003 --> finding out Serge had no chance
2. April 24, 2003 --> finding out where Serge was
3. April 23, 2003 --> when Serge never called back...

Nothing else can be considered as bad... only death can ever be counted as a worst day...

~Joanna~
[Weather | Wet]
[Listening | Clocks by Coldplay]

Labels: high school, SBD

[Mood | Shaking]

I spoke at the service and surprisingly I didn't cry when I spoke. I did cry when one of his friends mentioned him writing that appeal letter to U of M. Just thinking of that day I spent with him writing that letter leaves me in pain. We did so much together in that short amount of time. He was special to everyone. I heard that he talks to everyone around like 2am. Hehe, it sounds just like him.

Well, seeing the body there in the casket just made me feel... well I don't know how to explain it. The body didn't even look like him, even though it did? I don't know, but it was so silent. At the hospital at least you could see him breathing and the rising and falling of his chest, but in the casket, so silent. I had a total reality check. There are so many things I need to do and I need to work hard.

Well Alex told us that when he was up there speaking, the whole room was glowing. That was comforting to know. He had so many friends and so many good memories. I'm just glad he was able to have a meaningful life before he died. He touched so many lives, and now whereever he is, he's touching more lives.

I've decided to become buddhist again and follow my family's normal practices. I mean if we've had the same temple in our family for years and if I want to be cremated and put in that temple, I guess I'll have to follow that. When I die (hopefully old) I want a young picture of me put on the stone urn. I don't know, but I guess it'd make me feel better.

Well, life is mysterious in many ways. I'll just have to keep my chin up and keep on smiling and laughing for Serge.

"Call me back later if you're bored"
~Joanna~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Colorblind by The Counting Crows]

Labels: high school, SBD

[Mood | Close to tears]

Today I am speaking for a little bit at the service. Thank you everyone who visited the website. He has so many friends and I'm very glad for that.

---------------------------

Serge:
The more and more I think about you, I feel more frantic and a more of a need to you. I could tell you anything and you never judged me or said anything to make me feel bad. Actually, you were the one always apologizing. You were and are one of a kind and I think there will forever be a hole in my heart.

I don't know how I'm going to react seeing you lying in the coffin.

The song: One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men reminds me of the things I want to say, so I'm going to post the lyrics here for everyone to see:

---------------------

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be togetherOne sweet day

Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say

-----------------

I'm so sorry I never told you how much I loved you. My heart aches just thinking of you. Now that you're gone, Ian, Mimi, and me have gotten so much closer. Especially Ian and me. I just want you to know that Ian and I were there for as long as we could be. I just want you to know we both cried for you. I just want you to know that we'll love you now and forever.

Someday I'll see you again, so hopefully you'll welcome me with open arms.
------------------------

Well I just hope that I can stay strong for his family. Even though its hard, I know it will all be ok. Like he said in my dream before he died "everything will be ok..."

"Call me back later if you're bored."
~Joanna~
[Weather | Serge's favorite, 60* weather]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school, SBD

[Mood | Shitty, but its ok]

Well Serge is gone. Now I have to write something for his service. I don't even know where to start or if I can even say anything without crying.

--> What's in my Subprofile:
In loving memory of...
Serge Bongabong Dioso
October 22, 1985 - April 26, 2003
Dear Serge:
I'm still in denial and shock that you're gone but I know that you're in a better place, even if you are making hell out of it. Don't light anymore trash cans on fire or get so distracted. Everyone down here loves you and you should know that. I guess since you're gone its kind of late to do a love confession to you, but I really loved you. Your personality was so magnetic. You don't ever need to apologize to me about anything.

I'm kind of glad we're not going to prom now. It just leaves me as the cursed prom date. Wow, I'm sorry if I cursed you. On Monday I get to tell my advisor that "Um, can I return my prom tickets..." and she'll be like "why?" and I'll be like "my prom date died." Wow, this is going to be one amazing story.

Anyway, I love you and I'll never forget you. I'll think about you everyday and all the things you did for me that slowly changed my life for the better.

I'll see you soon.

~Joanna~

Serge's last words:
"call me back later if you're bored"
-on the phone with me right before the accident.
-->

I love you Serge, never forget that.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Better]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school, SBD

Hey.

Serge is gone. God rest his soul. I'm sure he's in a beautiful place in the sky though (even if he's making hell out of it =) )

They're pulling him off life support at 2am.

There will be 4 viewings and the funeral on Wednesday.

Please keep him in your prayers everyone.

I love you all. I wish I just could've told Serge that.

~Joanna~

Labels: high school, SBD

Sorry that my other posts have been a bit vague, but I'll put everything I know up right now.

He was coming home from work around 3. I believe he just got off his phone with me, because he had called me around 3, and when I called him back at 4, no one was picking up. What we think happened was a bulldozer, which had been tearing up the sidewalk, must've backed out onto the road and he just struck the bulldozer head on. No one is really sure what happened.

Currently he's at Saint Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit. He has a fractured skull and his brain is swelling so badly that blood can't get to it. He's also currently on a respirator. He has bruises all over his skull and cuts all over his arms and body. He has been unconcious since the accident.

I called the hospital today and the nurse stated his condition is about the same as yesterday.

Please feel free to leave some words of inspiration or such in the comments box. I'll be going to the hospital a lot, so I'll be able to tell him. Thanks for your support everyone.

~Joanna~

Labels: high school, SBD

here i am again. my heart is so heavy as i think about serge. i can't believe this happened. i'm really in denial.

we went to see him in surgical intensive care. he has a fractured skull and his brain is swelling. he has bruises all over his skull and cuts all over his body. at least i got to hold his hand. hold it and ian, mimi, and lem talked about all the funny things that serge has done. we love him to pieces.

we know that a bulldozer was the other vehicle. and it was on powell and ridge. he was only like 1 minute away from home. ONE MINUTE.

all of a sudden my world is torn to pieces. i can barely hear my heart beating, but i can hear my breathing. i'm basically hysterical.

i just want to hear his voice. i just wanna be able to poke him and hug him. i just wanna smell hugo boss on him. i want to play with his hair. i want to be able to walk with him and talk to him. i want to be with him while he's in pain.

his poor mom, she was crying like crazy. she never stopped since yesterday.

i was so right about when he got into an accident, about right after i got off the phone with him. around 3:13 or something like that. then the accident happened. no matter... no matter... omg... i don't know if i'll be able to sleep tonight.

well i'm going to go and cry like crazy. call the cell if you'd like.

~Joanna~

Labels: high school, SBD

oh god.

for those who don't know.
i'm in a mass hysteria right now.
serge got into a car accident.
he's currently at st. joe's in ann arbor.
in surgical intensive care.
a car hit him is what we heard.

right now i've suddenly become religious and started praying. so i hope everyone else prays for him too.

i can't believe i was just talking to him yesterday. i'm basically in tears right now.

ian is coming to pick me up soon so that we can go to the hospital.

i'm praying for you serge. please hang in there. please. i love you like no other and you're such a great friend to me. stay strong. i love you so much.

~Joanna~

Labels: high school, SBD

[Mood | @__@]

Wow, I'm a terrible writer (look below to see what I mean). Anyway, today is Linda's birthday party! Yaaaay! Fun at Kensington! @___@ Geez, there REALLY is NOTHING to do in Michigan. Anyway, my throat is kinda sore and my nose was runny this morning. I'm gonna take a whole bunch of vitamin C and a dayquil, hopefully I'll feel better?

Things to do:
1. french packet
2. study ap stat and ap english
3. scioly stuffs
4. adverbs quiz
5. proverbs quiz
6. futur and conditional quiz

Ok so the list doesn't look THAT bad... -_-;; CRAP.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

You see me as a friend,
I see us differently,
I wish you could see it too,
because I really love you,
yet no one knows,
no one is there,
I miss you,
I really do.

Its been awhile,
been so long,
I haven't seen you,
or heard from you.

I miss the sound of your voice,
the simple talks that we had,
the simple things that we said,
that made me feel so good.

Now we're not even friends,
now we're not even lovers,
where do I go from here?

~Joannie~
[Weather | Chilly]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^______^]

Lets to an update! I'm in a very hyper mood, talking to Tongy and all... cuz whenever we talk, I always seem to be hyper?

Anyway lets see... the last time I really wrote anything about what I've been doing was Wednesday, so lemme go in order:

Thursday:
Serge came to school with me, which was very interesting. Then we set up for road rally... Don got in a bad car accident... I still haven't gone to see him yet, BUT I will get him a card! Waaaahhh! Get better soon Don! Anyway... then at 4pm we left to drive to the Smoky Mountains, I hate car trips, but oh well, I slept most of the way.

Friday:
Got to the Smoky Mountains, the room was pretty cool, great view.

Saturday:
Flea Market shopping, got a hippo whooo! Felt sick when we went to antique shop. Ate a restaurant with hot waiter. Whoooo.

Sunday:
Drive through the Smoky Mountains National Park, very pretty. Then sat on the balcony and talked to many ppl on the cellie.

Monday:
9 hour drive home.

Tuesday: <--today yo!
Han's house for meeting, then Serge drove me to Target, then to Mimi's house, then to Blockbuster, then back to Mimi's house, then to dinner at Max and Erma's, then to Ian's house, then home. Great day... wow I don't feel like being descriptive.

Anyway, today was a great day. Lets make my to-do list:

1. French packet
2. study for ap stat and ap eng
3. study for scioly
4. arrrrghhh cry cuz of school.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Ha]

More weird convos:

sErGe: ur the apac bitch

Mimi: ......no i called yaya
Mimi: and she's like
Mimi: we're at some fuzzy mumble mumble (not canton) high school

Me: I'm just "space efficient"
Ian: i like to say "bite size"

Ian: man screw calculus
YaYa: i can't.
Ian: errmm....do you have the book in the right position?
Ian: maybe getting atop a desk will help....?

Tongy: i have plans for this summer
Me: i still haven't figured out which one is chocolate flavored
Tondies: me too
Tondies: WORKING
Me: plans??
Tongy: which involve playing video games, watching movies, and folicking in the sun
Tongy: on and working
Tongy: bahhhhhhhh
Me: i need job
Me: lemme go see if my job offer is still there
Tondies: hehe
YaYa: ???
YaYa: INVITE ME
Tondies: ?
YaYa: give me a job too.
Tondies: invite you working?
YaYa: i want to watch movies
Tondies: weirdo
YaYa: and play video games
YaYa: and frolick in the sun.
YaYa: folick??
Me: lol
YaYa: tongy said folick! haha
Me: folick!
Me: hahaaa
Tongy: it sounds rather dirty
YaYa: ......
YaYa: eeew....
Tondies: haha
Tondies: folick
Tondies: sounds VERY dirty
YaYa: yees.
YaYa: a cross between...
YaYa: lick.. and....
YaYa: ick.
Tondies: fornication
YaYa: well
Tondies: :-)
YaYa: ick as in
YaYa: i dont feel like saying it?
YaYa: oh yes.
Tondies: hahaha
YaYa: fornication.
Tondies: fornicationlick
Tondies: folick
Tongy: haha
Me: -_-;;;;
Me: ....
Me: .....
Tondies: hehehe

Ian: WHAT?!?!
Ian: YOU"RE TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN ME?!?
Me: oooppps
Ian: JEEZ
Me: well actually 3 other ppl
Me: in a chat room
Me: @___@ yaya was there
Ian: AM I NOT THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE??!
Me: but she kinda left
Me: HIIII IAAAANNN I LOOOVEEE YOOUUU
Ian: ohh i see how it is
Me: I'LL ROTATE AROUND UUUU
Ian: I SEE WHICH SIDE OF THE TOAST YOU"RE BUTERED ON....
Me: @____@
Ian: CUZ IT SURE AIN"T MINE.....
Me: ROTATE ROTATE ROTATE

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

More weird convos:

Me: again
Me: wrong screen
Me: this is bad
Ian: heh
Me: sorrie
Ian: yeah just give me the pot tomorrow
Ian: oops wrong screen
Ian: heheheeh
Me: hahahaaaaaa
Me: very nice.
Ian: i try

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

Well lots of things happened yesterday, but I can't tell you about them due to *secrecy.* Tomorrow Serge is coming to school with me. I just took a hard accounting test, but at least I did it all right! (whooo this memory thing DOES pay off). Umm, schedule for tomorrow:

1: video, breakfast party
2: nothing, computer lab
3: quiz
4: ???
5: party i hope?
6: nothing
After: Road Rally!
4pm: TRIP TO SMOKY MOUNTAINS.

Yes tomorrow is going to be a pointless day. I'm so glad.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Getting Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;;]

More strange conversations:
Me: but what kind of food?
Me: gimme a genre
Me: ...
Me: genre... such a wrong word to use
sErGe: something good?
Me: never mind
Me: chinese, french, italian, japanese, american
Me: ...
Me: I'd have to plan beforehand...
sErGe: chinrenitalpanican?
Me: -_-;;;;;;

Me: std 1-2 ppl room
Serge: STD?
Me: ...
Me: standard!
Serge: OHHHHHHHHHHH

sErGe: i live on a farm
sErGe: and i drive a cow to school

~Joannie~
[Weather | NICE!]
[Listening | Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous by Good Charlotte]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ~_~]

Strange Conversations:

Ian: man screw calculus
YaYa: i can't.
Ian: errmm....do you have the book in the right position?
Ian: maybe getting atop a desk will help....?

Me: yoyo tango!
Ian: hhehehe....sounds like a new fruitopia drink
Me: maybe you should write to fruitopia and tell them that?
Ian: i dont' think they can bottle sarcasm...
Me: they could try?

~Joannie~
[Weather | Good!]
[Listening | Real Me by Ayumi Hamasaki]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^___^]

Wow I was really moody before, but... ANYWAY:

So I walked into my room today and my eyes bulged out and I screamed in my head "WHERE DID MY BED GO!?" well too bad it was under the monstrous pile of clothes and stuff lying on it. Time to clean again... only week later.

Bought a new headset for my cell phone. Didn't work. Hate it. Used it on mom's phone, worked. Hate it. Must go buy new one.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listenin | neverending dream by Ayumi Hamasaki]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-]

My whole misunderstood life in a nutshell.

I may have big dreams someday, dreams of being rich of doing so many things... I may appear shallow on the outside, but I'm not... really. Anyway, I was talking to Serge about dreams and aspirations that I have, and well... as soon as I got to what I wanted to do, the conversation stopped.

You see, I don't want to end up in a dead end job. A job where when the economy slumps you have to constantly worry about whether you'll still have your job or not, or a job where you're constantly worrying if you'll make enough to pay the bills. I want to do something exciting.

First of all, I want to become an international business lawyer between the United States and Asia. Sure it sounds like a mouthful, but its really just a fancy name for a corporate lawyer. I want to work for an asian/american company where I can travel between Asia and America. Minoring in asian languages (Chinese, Cantonese, Japanese, and Korean) will help this out.

Then, I want to be a United States Senator. I dunno why I've wanted to do this, but America always has this bad perceptions of the US government and I want to help to change that perception. I want to be there to vote on bills and see to it that I reperesent the people correctly.

I also want to work in the Secretariat of the United Nations. I want to work in the one of the greatest organizations created. Though it may not have much power now, it is still growing and still improving and one day world affairs will work out within the United Nations.

Lastly I want to start my own company. Perhaps an acquisitions company known as "Formosan Acquisitions." After I saw Thomas Crown Affair, I really wanted to be a CEO of this sort of company.

Then as soon as I amass enough wealth, here's what I want to do with it.

1. Ensure financial security for my family.
2. Buy my parents a home in California (like they've always wanted)
3. Start a underprivileged children's foundation, because poverty is the greatest reason for children to be undereducated.
4. Donate to charities (ie: humane society, habitat for humanity, museums and libraries)

I really just want some change to come in this world so everyone could have the same kind of opportunities and the same kind of motivation that I've had.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace]

Labels: high school

[Mood | O.o]

Whoa what happened here???

Me: i neeeed to do something!
Serge: do homework
Me: !!! YOU'RE telling ME to do homework!?
Me: omg! such a turnaround!
Serge: i dont know...........................
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Joannie~
[Weather | Nice]
[Listening | Amber by 311]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;]

The Spring Breakers:
Joanna
Alex 1 (??)
Ian (??)
Serge
Linda
Mimi

Spring Break 2K3 Plan
Chicago!!!
Train:
$123.00 for 3 tickets (Price varies depending on what time we want to leave on April 25)
$41/person

Depart:
April 22
8:40am - 12:15pm

Return
April 25
1:15pm - 6:33pm

Hotel:
(Using Expedia.com)
Raphael Chicago - 3 Stars
1/2 Block from Magnificent Mile
18 Year Old can check in <-- both Wyndham and Le Meridien needs a 21 year old to check in)

For 1 Room, 2 beds, 3 nights
Guests: 3 adults

Room rate 4/22: $68.25 per night
Room rate 4/23-4/24: $66.75 per night
Extra guest charge: $24.60 per night
Taxes & service fees: $16.11 per night
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Total room cost: $323.87
$108/person for hotel
No pool tho--> how sad.

$149.00/person TOTAL for train and hotel.

OTHER CHOICES:
Hilton Garden Inn

For 1 room, 2 beds, 3 nights
Guests: 3 adults

Room rate 4/22-4/24: $129.00 per night
Taxes & service fees: $21.52 per night
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Total room cost: $451.56
$151/person for hotel

They have a pool, 1 block from Magnificent Mile.

$192/person TOTAL for hotel and Train

Tell me what you think.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Ok]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | (o^_^o)]

Sonnet 2

As I sit here so tired and so cold,
I wonder why the time passes so slow.
I look out the window, watching the world,
Slowly slipping by, as I watch it go.
I stare at the clock, watching it tick by,
Ticking and tocking, not moving at all.
I think of home before I start to cry,
And then I lose hope and begin to fall.
The hours pass by and soon I will leave,
Thinking of home as I sit here and stare.
I'm here everyday and it makes me grieve,
For the joyous freedom that is out there.
Soon I will go home and sleep in my bed,
And then on my pillow will go my head.

Hehehe... this one needs work too.

~Joannie~
[Weather | NICE!]
[Listening | Nothing!]

Labels: high school

[Mood | -_-;;]

Sonnet

My heart aches with the simple thought of you,
As I give you all the love that I find.
It makes me wonder if you love me too,
When you wander through my troubled dark mind.
My heart skips a beat when I hear your voice,
My light heart flutters when you are close by.
If you had to choose, when given a choice,
Would you want to be with me, tell me why.
If tomorrow I leave or go away,
Will you remember the times that we shared,
Or will you forget with each passing day,
And let it all go like you never cared.
My short time seems so full when my heart pounds,
My life seems so whole when you are around.

Needs improvement. I'll fix it and give you the final version later.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | Ok]

Ten Things I 'Could" Do Before I Die:
1. read... read... read
2. go skydiving ^.~
3. become a senator
4. eat at the best restaurants in the world
5. become a chef
6. open my own restuarant/cafe/bakery
7. be an entrepreneur
8. drive in the grand prix, either motorcycles or cars, or drag race on the streets
9. get something famous dedicated to me
10. get my name in the history books

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | >"<]

So much crap has gone on since yesterday, there's so much drama.

First of all, I guess the only for sure coles that are going are Serge and me and Sarah and Alex. Oh well, I guess prom will be awesome for us?

I spent around 2 hours at the library with Serge writing his college letter... >"< sooo much time spent there, TOOO much time... don't let him play around with the office assistant... he's easily amused.

Anyway I finished my country study on Japan and all that good stuff, but I didn't study French and didn't work on the stat packet.

Things to do tonight:
1. Adverbs packet for French
2. Stat packet
3. Find Bulgaria speech

Actually the only real homework I have is the adverbs packet! Yaaaaay! I'll probably finish the stat packet in class today and a speech on Bulgaria is an easy find. HOW HAPPY TODAY IS! Caffeine run anyone??? I really want to go to starbucks for a hot chocolate (I give up on coffee, it tastes horrible anyway).

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^__^]

Ok this entry will be all about prom planning.

The Group:
Joanna - Serge
Sarah - Alex
Tonda - Pat ??
YaYa - Ian ??
Amy - the unknown guy...
--> ANYONE ELSE???
Tickets are on sale this week ONLY, so PLEASE TELL US IF YOU WANT TO GO!!

Where to eat?
Applebee's
Friday's
Rocky's (waaay expensive tho... but its 5 star)
Cookers

Pictures?
Where do we want to take pictures at? Who's house? Um... Sarah's house is really nice cuz she has that pond. Plus she has a really cool stairway (at least from what I remember, so we could all stand on the stairway and take a nice picture??) Um... Tonda's yard is really big. My house is ok, but we don't have many places to take pictures at? Unless our cherry blossoms come in by then? We could go to a park? I dunno... something like that.

Transportation?
I think we'll most likely just go in normal cars...

After-party?
Crash at someone's house in front of the TV? My TV is small tho... uuuh... soo someone else decide what to do? Bowling?? Ohhh man, let's just stay out as long as possible.

Ok, so thats my part of the planning, everyone else comment and add...

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

So many crazy things have happened today. First the crazy snow, then I hear about people being sad. Not mentioning names here, I just wanna say to their friends, be strong. Be strong for your friends in their troubled times. They need you for support and they need you to be strong so that they can be strong also.

I wish everyone the greatest happiness possible, so work hard to achieve those dreams.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | I Wish by Carl Thomas]

Labels: high school

[Mood | @__@]

I love how its April 7th and its snowing. Oh boy! Well it looks like a blizzard outside. Anyway, tomorrow I get to go talk to Ms. Gooding. AAAAHHH! So much stress. Oh well, we're gonna pose Serge as a normal student. Yes... he will wear a Salem sweatshirt and pose as a Salem kid! Yaaaay! Ok, I'm gonna go now... and pray for a snow day.

~Joannie~
[Weather | SNOW BLIZZARD]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^_^]

Ok lemme tell you about an amazing 2 days.

Saturday I went to GenAPA. Ian drove. I went to Serge's house. (*sigh* such a nice house). Anyway, the car drive was crazy. Hmm, ask me about if it you want details, cuz its long and interesting. Anyway, GenAPA sucked. Oh well. Bubbly was good. More Connect 4. Beat Serge and Mimi. Went home.

Sunday woke up late, cuz of daylight savings time. Went to YACA meeting. Good meeting, even more fun lunch. Took some pictures, did some debating styles...

Ok, wow this doesn't sound very interesting... I kinda lost my hyperness... well I'll write more about it tomorrow, I'm sure it'll sound MUCH BETTER tomorrow.

Anyway, since I'm feeling a little sentimental right now, I'm gonna talk a little about... well being yourself.

Anyway, I used to always be the kind of girl who'd think that I'd change to fit a guy's needs, but seriously thats just WRONG. I mean, why do you want to change yourself to please someone? If a guy can like you for who you are really, then you've found the one for you. So everyone should stay the same and go about searching for that special someone without thinking negatively about yourself. You know you've found that one person when no matter how they look or how they act you can still love/like them. Its crazy sometimes. I dunno, I'm just babbling on and on. Anyway, I remember I've gone through those times where I'm like "I've found the perfect guy" but about 3 months later I'm like "I hate him" or something strange like that. Well, I dunno, I think its different this time. The "click" is there. Its like with... well you know who... at least I hope you know who I'm talking about. I was reading through my old diaries and I am baffled by the stupidity that I have. I mean who write "I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT GUY" after only meeting him a day. Its more a slow attraction. I mean you have to be attracted in the first place, but then you slowly start to like the person more and more. Thats the only way to go. Anyway, no more of this love/like business. I'm going to bed.

~Joannie~
[Weather | COLD]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

[Mood | ^_______^]

Lets talk about my day.

Well first off, I had school as usual. Then I went to APAC after school. Then went home for awhile before going to Starbucks with Serge. Helped him fluff up some college stuff. So I was there for around 3 hours. We basically did nothing after the first 1/2 hr. I tried to do hw, but we ended up just talking and chillin.

Anyway, I'm home now, so I need to go do some studying. I'm not really sure what I have to do tomorrow, but I'm sure I have SOMETHING.

~Joannie~
[Weather | Cold]
[Listening | Nothing]

Labels: high school

About Me

Joannie, 24, New York, NY. Taiwanese-American. University of Michigan grad. Majored in anthropology and Japanese studies. Marketing Manager at Time, Inc. Forever obsessed with web design, Michigan Football and HIMYM.

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